Timeline and Other Wildness

Well, I just finished watching the cinematic brilliance that is Timeline. If Leonardo da Vinci made movies, this would be his vision. Part adventure, part science, part love story... and all genius. Nowhere to be found are cheesy lines or annoying characters. I give this movie a 12-- a big 12, in fact.

But the rest of the day went swimmingly, or sailingly, as the case may be. Actually, sittingly (on the boat) is a more apt description. We Arndts, the Masons sans Nick, and one long-armed, weird-eared freak named Scott Scheule-- or did I mean Schedule?-- endeavored to go sailing, but 'twas not to be. After several attempts to get the boat started, it became clear that we were not meant to sail today. This of course made Caroline quite happy, as she finds sailing boring; sitting on a docked boat, on the otherhand, is apparently unparalleled excitement. Unfortunately, her ecstasy that arose from our being forced to stay docked was somewhat tainted by Mr. Mason's temper, which caused Caroline to cry hysterically and fear divorce. Her fears were not unfounded: Mr. and the former Mrs. Mason are now in divorce proceedings; "yelling at the boat" was cited as the reason.

But once Mr. Mason harnessed his chi and settled down, our sitting on the boat became a lovely experience. We took pictures of Megan's gross scalp, ate subs, grapes, and chips, and sat around talking and listening to Caroline "toot"-- as the Mason family so delicately says-- and then call "safety." She's lucky, too, because I was about to beat her for her flatulence. Damned to the depths whoever came up with "safety."

Perhaps it was the vapors from Caroline's... nevermind. Just know that at the end of our boat ride, Mary Kate topped off the fun by dropping her coat in the water. Good times, great oldies.

Anyhow, after our boat ride, I saw my eyes flash before my eyes as I accompanied Meredith as she drove Scott back to the airport. We then hugged Scott goodbye, bid him good riddance, and then returned to the Mason abode, where I made tea for my beautiful wife (I am such a great husband). And then we flipped on the movie and listened to Mr. Mason tell Meredith she seemed hormonal. As if hormones aren't bad enough, I believe Meredith also had an itchy pad; hmm... I hear smelly hive cream cures itches.

Well, dear readers (one-third of whom is on the couch begging me to get away from the computer), I must say farewell. Farewell.